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Chapter IV: The Rabbit Sends In A Little Bill
Chapter IV: The Rabbit Sends In A Little Bill
It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking
anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard it
muttering to itself, "The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and
whiskers! She`ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where can I
have dropped them, I wonder!" Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking
for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very goodnaturedly began
hunting about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen - everything seemed
to have changed since her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass
table and the little door, had vanished completely.
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and called
out to her in an angry tone, "Why, Mary Ann, what are you doing out here? Run
home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!" And
Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it
pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake that it had made.
"He took me for his housemaid," she said to herself as she ran. "How
surprised he`ll be when he finds out who I am! But I`d better take him his fan
and gloves - that is, if I can find them." As she said this, she came upon a
neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the
name "W. Rabbit," engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried
upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned
out of the house before she had found the fan and gloves.
"How queer it seems," Alice said to herself, "to be going messages for a
rabbit! I suppose Dinah`ll be sending me on messages next!" And she began
fancying the sort of thing that would happen: "`Miss Alice! Come here
directly, and get ready for your walk!` `Coming in a minute, nurse! But I`ve
got to watch this mousehole till Dinah comes back, and see that the mouse
doesn`t get out.` Only I don`t think," Alice went on, "that they`d let Dinah
stop in the house if it began ordering people about like that!"
By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table
in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of
tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and was
just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that
stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time with the words
"Drink Me," but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. "I know
something interesting is sure to happen," she said to herself, "whenever I eat
or drink anything; so I`ll just see what this bottle does. I do hope it`ll
make me grow large again, for really I`m quite tired of being such a tiny
little thing!"
It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had
drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and
had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put down the
bottle, saying to herself, "That`s quite enough - I hope I shan`t grow any
more - As it is, I can`t get out at the door - I do wish I hadn`t drunk quite
so much!"
Alas! It was too late to wish that! She went on growing and growing, and
very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there was not even
room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down, with one elbow against
the door, and the other arm curled round her head. Still she went on
growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one
foot up the chimney, and said to herself, "Now I can do no more, whatever
happens. What will become of me?"
[See Growing: The little magic bottle had now had its full effect, and she
grew no larger.]
Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect,
and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there seemed
to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder
she felt unhappy.
"It was much pleasanter at home," thought poor Alice, "when one wasn`t
always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
rabbits. I almost wish I hadn`t gone down that rabbit-hole - and yet - and yet
it`s rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what can have
happened to me! When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing
never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a
book written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I`ll write
one-but I`m grown up now," she added in a sorrowful tone, "at least there`s no
room to grow up any more here."
"But then," thought Alice, "shall I never get any older than I am now?
That`ll be a comfort, one way - never to be an old woman - but then - always
to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn`t like that!"
"Oh, you foolish Alice!" she answered herself. "How can you learn lessons
in here? Why, there`s hardly room for you, and no room at all for any
lesson-books!"
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making
quite a conversation of it altogether, but after a few minutes she heard a
voice outside, and stopped to listen.
"Mary Ann! Mary Ann!" said the voice. "Fetch me my gloves this moment!"
Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the
Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the house,
quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large as the
Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it, but as
the door opened inwards, and Alice`s elbow was pressed hard against it, that
attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself, "Then I`ll go round
and get in at the window."
"That you won`t!" thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied
she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand,
and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, but she heard
a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, from which she
concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or
something of the sort.
[See Made A Snatch: She spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air.]
Next came an angry voice - the Rabbit`s - "Pat! Pat! Where are you?" And
then a voice she had never heard before, "Sure then I`m here! Digging for
apples, yer honour!"
"Digging for apples, indeed!" said the Rabbit angrily. "Here! Come and
help me out of this!" (Sounds of more broken glass.)
"Now tell me, Pat, what`s that in the window?"
"Sure, it`s an arm, yer honour!" (He pronounced it "arrum.")
"An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole
window!"
"Sure, it does, yer honour: but it`s an arm for all that."
"Well, it`s got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!"
There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers
now and then, such as "Sure, I don`t like it, yer honour, at all at all!"
"Do as I tell you, you coward!" and at last she spread out her hand again
and made another snatch in the air. This time there were two little shrieks,
and more sounds of broken glass. "What a number of cucumber-frames there must
be!" thought Alice. "I wonder what they`ll do next! As for pulling me out
of the window, I only wish they could! I`m sure I don`t want to stay in here
any longer!"
She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a
rumbling of little cart-wheels, and the sound of a good many voices all
talking together: she made out the words, "Where`s the other ladder? - Why, I
hadn`t to bring but one. Bill`s got the other - Bill! Fetch it here, lad! -
Here, put `em up at this corner - No, tie `em together first - they don`t
reach half high enough yet - Oh, they`ll do well enough. Don`t be particular -
Here, Bill! Catch hold of this rope - Will the roof bear? - Mind that loose
slate - Oh, it`s coming down! Heads below!" (a loud crash) - "Now, who did
that? - It was Bill, I fancy - Who`s to go down the chimney? - Nay, I shan`t!
You do it! - That I won`t, then! - Bill`s got to go down - Here, Bill! the
master says you`ve got to go down the chimney!"
"Oh, so Bill`s got to come down the chimney, has he?" said Alice to
herself. "Why, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn`t be in Bill`s
place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure, but I think I can
kick a little!"
She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till
she heard little animal (she couldn`t guess of what sort it was) scratching
and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, saying to herself
"This is Bill," she gave one sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen
next.
[See There Goes Bill: Catch him, you by the legs.]
The first thing she heard was a general chorus of "There goes Bill!" then
the Rabbit`s voice alone - "Catch him, you by the hedge!" then silence, and
then another confusion of voices - "Hold up his head - Brandy now - Don`t
choke him - How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell us all about
it!"
Last came a little feeble squeaking voice. ("That`s Bill," thought
Alice,) "Well, I hardly know - No more, thank`ye, I`m better now - but I`m a
deal too flustered to tell you - all I know is, something comes at me like a
Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!"
"So you did, old fellow!" said the others.
"We must burn the house down!" said the Rabbit`s voice, and Alice called
out as loud as she could, "If you do, I`ll set Dinah at you!"
There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, "I
wonder what they will do next! If they had any sense, they`d take the roof
off." After a minute or two they began moving about again, and Alice heard the
Rabbit say, "A barrowful will do, to begin with."
"A barrowful of what?" thought Alice. But she had not long to doubt, for
the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window, and
some of them hit her in the face. "I`ll put a stop to this," she said to
herself and shouted out, "You`d better not do that again!" which produced
another dead silence.
Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into
little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her head.
"If I eat one of these cakes," she thought, "it`s sure to make some change in
my size: and as it can`t possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
suppose."
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she
began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through the
door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little animals and
birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being
held up by two guineapigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. They
all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared, but she ran off as hard as
she could, and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.
"The first thing I`ve got to do," said Alice to herself, as she wandered
about in the wood, "is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is
to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be the best plan."
It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply
arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to
set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among the trees, a
little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a great hurry.
An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and
feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. "Poor little thing!" said
Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it, but she was
terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be hungry, in
which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.
[See Puppy: An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes.]
Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and
held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its
feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and made
believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself
from being run over, and, the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy
made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to
get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very like having a game of play
with a cart-horse, and expecting every moment to be trampled under its feet,
ran round the thistle again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at
the stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long way back,
and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off,
panting, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half
shut.
This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape, so she set
off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and till the
puppy`s bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
"And yet what a dear little puppy it was!" said Alice, as she leant
against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the
leaves; "I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if - if I`d only
been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I`d nearly forgotten that I`ve got to
grow up again! Let me see - how is it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat
or drink something or other; but the great question is, what?"
The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the
flowers and the blades of grass, but she could not see anything that looked
like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There was a
large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself, and when
she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred
to her that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.
She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the
mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large blue caterpillar, that
was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah,
and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else.
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