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Chapter 20
BY THE TIME Sidney`s carriage drew up at the inn, the rest of the party had already set out on foot to explore Brinshore; and no immediate explanations for their odd seating arrangements proved necessary. Charlotte, whose relief was pretty well equally divided between Sir Edward`s not being at hand to comment on Clara Brereton`s position nor Miss Denham to comment on her own, wondered if explanations would ever be made now at all. That Sidney was bent on giving his own apologies and thanks to Miss Brereton was obvious from the manner in which he walked hurriedly away with her on the pretext of finding the others. "They are bound to be somewhere on the shore line, he called to Henry and Charlotte over his shoulder. "Come along, keep up." "Come along, keep up, Miss Heywood," echoed Mr. Brudenall, with a light touch of mimicry Charlotte had hardly expected from him. "We must all do as Sidney dictates on these occasions. He decides what is for our own good and it is best to obey." Charlotte was very much inclined to think Sidney was right and the morning`s drive had had all the happy effect on Henry Brudenall which his friend intended. For though he was still rather serious and occasionally absent-minded, she was surprised to discover she could now extract an almost normal conversation from him. He agreed with her that the Brinshore surroundings seemed flatter than Sanditon`s, that the village was not so immediately charming and, when they reached the beach, that there was indeed a remarkable quantity of seaweed. As Charlotte always tried to avoid Henry Brudenall`s company wherever possible, and had been particularly determined to do so on his cousin`s wedding day, she found this sudden change in his spirits as welcome as it was perplexing. They walked along the shingle, exchanging several more polite comments and perceiving and pointing out the main party to each other at almost the same time. They were all at the other end of the beach by the bathing machines, and Charlotte and Henry followed Sidney`s lead towards them. The brittle brown fronds of seaweed, dried by the sun, crackled quite pleasantly underfoot the whole way along; but Charlotte had just announced -- and Mr. Bmdenall acquiesced -- that such a profusion of seaweed must be ranked a distinct nuisance at any seaside resort, when all their views on the matter were overthrown by their meeting with the others. The Miss Beauforts were ecstatic about the seaweed. It was, apparently, Brinshore`s chief claim to fame -- and had they seen the sweet seaweed pictures in the shop outside the library? Oh, then they must all come immediately to look at them. Seaweed, the Miss Beauforts insisted, was a very definite attraction at a resort; one could spend happy hours collecting prize pieces; one could trace them or press them and arrange them most artistically. Even Arthur seemed to have caught something of their enthusiasm -- though regarding it as a more scientific pastime. Released from Miss Beaufort and Miss Letitia and now getting near to Charlotte, he flourished a specimen of glossy olive-coloured seaweed he had picked up himself. "What do you think of thao" he said proudly. "Not a tear or a bruise on it anywhere!" "No," agreed Charlotte, poking it rather gingerly. "I suppose all that slime makes it yielding enough to prevent tearing." "And think how absorbing it must be collecting and identifying all the varieties -- there are hundreds of them. We have just come across a man on a naturalist`s ramble; he had a basket in one hand and a prod in the other; and he was wading out on the low tide to look for more specimens. This one, he told me, was very common. But only look how beautiful it is with such jagged fronds and sweeping curves." Charlotte looked at it but declined to take it. But Miss Lambe, who had also decided to walk with Miss Heywood, admired it so shyly and yet so sincerely that Arthur was very content to present it to her instead. Charlotte herself remained unmoved by the charms of seaweed even when they reached the Miss Beauforts` shop and were entreated to admire the framed pictures. Dried and arranged carefully under glass, the seaweed appeared now in the form of baskets and bouquets of flowers, set above, below or around a set of obligatory verses in faultless copperplate: Call us not weeds, we are flowers of the sea, For lovely and bright and gay-tinted are we, And quite independent of sunshine or showers, Then call us not weeds, we are ocean`s gay flowers. We are nursed not like plants of a summer Parterre, Where gales are but sighs of an evening air, Our exquisite, fragile and delicate forms Are nursed by the ocean and rocked by its storms. "Oh! I am quite enchanted with these seaweed pictures," exclaimed Miss Letitia. "As soon as we get back to Sanditon, we must try to find seaweed there. And then we could make our own pictures. At low tide, you know, I am sure we could discover patches of it somewhere." "And perhaps we could also find some gentleman who would be willing to help us," cried Miss Beaufort archly. "One who would not mind sopping his shoes occasionally in sea water to bring us back a few trophies." She sparkled a glance of such saucy appeal at Sidney Parker that he instinctively retreated a pace or two. He recovered however to reply with some resource. "I am very sure you will. Arthur is exactly the man you want. He seems to have taken a great fancy to seaweed already. And what about you, Miss Heywood? Are you also enchanted by Brinshore`s beautiful seaweed? Ah yes, I can read in your eyes that we are in complete agreement on the matter." But the Miss Beauforts were not interested in Charlotte`s opinion, still less in reading her eyes with Sidney Parker. If they had ever looked carefully into those clear grey eyes, they might have been disconcerted by the steady twinkle in their quite remarkable depth. But neither of the Miss Beauforts was in the habit of looking very carefully at members of their own sex -- or at most not beyond their clothes. Miss Brereton`s and Miss Denham`s opinions they eagerly canvassed; they could not escape hearing Diana`s; and even listened with attention to Miss Parker`s: all of these had beaux or brothers to claim their respect and entitle them to form the core of the merry little group, gathered inside and outside the small curio shop. And despite Sidney`s efforts to include them in the general conversation, Charlotte found herself isolated with Miss Lambe over a counter of sea shells. They both stared down in silence at shell boxes, shell-work picture frames, shell boats and shell rondels; but finding nothing to comment on in this trumpery collection, Charlotte soon wearied of it and was about to turn away, when she became aware of the absorbed expression on Miss Lambe`s face as she examined the shell-studded trinker trays. At that moment she glanced up and, conscious of being observed, gave Charlotte a smile of sudden brilliance. "I love shells," she confided. "So fragile -- so delicate -- " This was only the second sentence Charlotte had heard Miss Lambe utter. The first had been, "I love to watch the sea gulls." Charlotte found them an arresting combination and turned back to the trinket tray, wondering what she could find to say in its favour to encourage the conversation. "Some of the shells have pretty shapes and colours," she conceded at last; but she spoke so kindly that Miss Lambe was emboldened to continue on her own. "Oh! not these. I do not mean these. They are rather clumsy -- and common. But all shells remind me of my childhood. At home, in Barbados, there were such beautiful shells. My father made a collection of them, and I have it now. Would you like to see io" Charlotte replied that she would like to see it very much and listened with attention as Miss Lambe described it. But she was far less interested in the shell collection than in this transformation of a timid young girl into a voluble enthusiast as she spoke about it. There was no longer any question of drawing Miss Lambe out. She went on happily talking about her exotic shells till they were interrupted again by Sidney, this time calling them across to admire a particularly tasteless shell box his sisters had just bought. It was entirely covered with what Miss Lambe had just described as clumsy and common shells and had "Brinshore" inscribed on the lid in tiny pebbles. While Sir Edward talked of its "frangible appearance" camouflaging an "adamantine construction" and racked his brains for a suitable quotation about shells, Sidney silently passed the box around for inspection. The Miss Beauforts agreed it was exquisite; Miss Denham thought their own villagers should be encouraged to produce similar boxes with "Sanditon" on the lid. Miss Brereton allowed it to be pretty; Miss Lambe faltered and, whispering it was "very interesting," retreated into her usual silence. Charlotte, rejoicing in having avoided all comment on the box when it was dutifully praised by everyone else, realised rather too late that Sidney had not drawn Miss Lambe and herself into the group from motives of consideration alone. I do not think we have yet heard Miss Heywood`s opinion," he said with a polite bow in her direction which informed her he had let her off over seaweed pictures merely to trap her more entertainingly over shell-work boxes. Charlotte now heartily regretted she had missed the opportunity of emulating Miss Lambe`s almost inaudible "Very interesting." She began stammering that she was naturally, that of course she had given her opinion, but found she could no longer avoid doing so, Sidney having produced a lull in the general conversation by advancing towards her and holding out the box. She took a fleeting glance up at him, saw the gleam of amusement in his eyes and said with dignity, "It is extremely pretty." "You would not call it an -- ah -- unnecessary objeco" Not at all, in this case," she replied, biting her lip to refrain from laughing. She was willing to concede Sidney had outwitted her; but she refused to look up at him in open acknowledgement of the victory. She kept her own eyes very firmly on the box, determined to reserve her right to that measure of independence at least. But Sidney, equally determined to impose his will on anyone with whom he chose to exert himself, continued to stand in front of her till in sudden embarrassment that everyone must be watching them -- in a rush of confusion she was unable to control -- Charlotte weakened and glanced up again. She had frequently found the teasing expression of Sidney`s eyes could be completely exasperating, and had every intention of meeting it with a blank look of innocent gravity. But before she could check herself, she discovered she was smiling back at him involuntarily and admitting that, exasperating or not, Sidney`s teasing gleam had quite become irresistible to her. In that moment, as they stood smiling at one another, Charlotte was conscious of several contradictory sensations, of which the chief were these: annoyance with herself for being incapable of governing her own actions, satisfaction that Sidney had won this very minor victory over her, amusement, embarrassment -- an odd something between perturbation and pleasure -- and, above all else, a flutter of singing, exclaiming, joyful spirits which made her feel she had strayed somehow into a most unfamiliar world. And as Sidney turned away, a phrase he had used that morning drummed suddenly in her ears: "Will you make no allowance for the instinctive guidance of the hearo" Was this what he had meano Could such a thing happen to someone as sober and sensible as herself? Could she have so little control over her own conduct that Sidney could make her behave according to his will and not hers? She told herself that indulging in this train of thought was folly and tried to dispel the agitation such an idea had started up by setting the trivial little incident in its proper perspective. She may have been made to smile to order: it did not necessarily follow that Sidney could force her into doing anything else. On their homeward journey, for instance, if he were to suggest they adopt the same seating arrangements, if he were to stretch out an imperious hand to help her up on to the box -- it was very possible she would instinctively obey him; and arguments and reasoning would occur to her far too late to be of any avail. Had not this already happened to her on their outward journey? She had tertainly allowed Sidney to overrule her own judgement then although she neither respected his motives nor approved of his plans. But surely now she realised the weakness and inconsistency of such behaviour, it would be the easiest thing in the world to rectify io Studying herself with honesty and recognising the amazing influence Sidney had somehow acquired over her before she was aware of it Charlotte`s next reaction was to try to counteract it by concentrating on his very obvious defects of character and reciting them over to herself: he was flippant, worldly, imprudent, impetuous, domineering, officious, unrepulsable, irresponsible and probably unreliable. But this catalogue of his faults only made her smile more broadly than ever. When the seed of this indulgence had been planted she could not say, but it had grown untended into a flourishing and hardy tree which now branched out to shelter every deficiency of his she could name: she was quite certain he told any lie which came into his head. He was also, she suspected, a most hardened flirt, who used compliments merely to get his own way. She caught herself smiling again and realised, with a reluctant but very sturdy regard for the truth, that her detachment over Sidney Parker`s real character seemed to have vanished; and her estimation of his qualities -- either good or bad -- was now completely worthless. The thought suddenly occurred to her that this was perhaps how Clara Brereton had managed to shut her eyes to all Sir Edward`s many defects. She must have grown a similar tree of indulgence to shelter his foolishness, his pomposity, his conceit and his selfishness, shading them from her own view with thicker and thicker branches till they no longer mattered. Was this what people meant when they said love was blind? Was this some important key she herself had always missed in trying to understand strange relationships, odd partnerships and human beings in the generality? Her astonishment increasing with every second at these unbidden thoughts and novel theories, Charlotte was obliged to turn aside, to lean over the counter of sea shells in pretended employment, while she scolded her senses back into their proper places. Her mind was now in too much confusion to think anything out clearly. She was uncertain of her own judgement, mistrustful of her own feelings and unwilling to think any more along these lines. But her self-possession gradually returned and with it a heightened perception of all that was ridiculous in allowing herself to become engrossed in her own concerns in the midst of her present companions and present surroundings. She looked about her, struggling for composure. She was standing in a crowded little seaside curio shop, in broad daylight; and there were people chattering all round her with a buzz, a restlessness and an indecision as the large party began to split up in one of the inevitable divisions of such etcursions. "But we must see more of Brinshore," complained Miss Denham, tired of standing about in a group. "Who will join me on a walk of exploration?" Sidney, to whom this was chiefly addressed, declared himself very willing and suggested Miss Denham sort out the walking party while he remained in the shop to complete his sisters` purchase. "Oh yes, we must all return to the beach and search for seaweed" was Miss Beaufort s rejoiner and Oh, certainly" was her sister`s. "I simply cannot wait to make our collection and experiment over pressing seaweed for our pictures!" Whether others besides Miss Denham disliked the prospect of travelling home in carriages full of seaweed or preferred more private inland routes, the principle of separation was now taken up and canvassed by many; and Miss Diana was energetic in promoting her own scheme for dividing up the party even further. Anxious to get back to the inn and organise a cold collation, she insisted both her sister and Miss Lambe should accompany her and have all the benefit of a short rest. "They could enjoy some leisure while she neglected herself for the convenience of everybody else." And Miss Heywood also happening to fall under her scrutiny just as this little party was setting off, Miss Diana was struck by her bewildered appearance; and Charlotte was so kindly pressed to join them that there was no refusing. Despite her own preoccupation, she was able to render valuable service to Miss Diana when they reached the inn. The necessity for this arose from the unlikely circumstance of Miss Parker-s being stung on the nose by a bee as they entered the inn yard. "Oh, poor Susan, what is to be done? Take her, take her, Miss Heywood! No, no, catch Miss Lambe -- I am sure she is about to faint." Roused most unexpectedly from her reverie by the sudden commotion, Charlotte could not at first understand what had happened and Diana`s exclamations made the situation no clearer. "Oh, my poor Susan, how grieved I am for your nerves! Will they stand up to such a trial? But l must make myself useful. I must be off to fetch assistance," remaining, nevertheless, to stroke her sister`s shoulders affectionately but rather helplessly. "Ah! what is to be done?" As far as walking and talking went, Miss Diana was competent to deal with the everyday management of their affairs, but faced by an unexpected crisis, she only wrung her hands and talked on. "Poor dear Susan is always so prone to such accidents. You would scarcely believe it -- whenever she has a day`s health, some insect attacks her or some obstacle trips her tip. Something is always at hand to undermine her constitution. But what is to be done now? And was it a bee or a wasp?" "It was a bee. I saw it," said Miss Lambe calmly and very definitely. "Wasps fly faster, they make more noise, have longer shapes and no yellow underneath." And Charlotte felt an immediate and implicit trust in both her claim to identify insects and her ability to refrain from fainting. She also had no hesitation in assuming command now she properly understood the nature of the crisis. "My younger brothers have often been stung by bees," she told Miss Diana. "It is painful but there is no real cause for alarm. Lean on my arm, Miss Parker. We can do nothing till you sit down and allow me to examine it." Between them, she and Miss Lambe led Miss Parker into the inn-parlour; and despatching the gaping landlord to find ammonia and a clean piece of linen, Charlotte coaxed their patient to the sofa. "There, lie still and let me see. l can relieve the pain a little, if you will let me withdraw the sting. It is reaIly only a very fine hair; but if I can pull it out, you will feel much better." "Yes, yes," agreed Diana, hovering about. "Have you sent the landlord for a potion? l do not know at all what to suggest in this case. Rose water perhaps? Or a tincture of mallow leaves? Such an accident has never occurred to us before. But it is always best to take medicines lying down -- much the best thing to adopt a posture that makes them slow in travelling through the bodly instead of hurrying them through post. Oh dear if only the bee had stung poor Susan in the ear, I could have made a suggestion -- a roasted onion placed in the ear once cured Fanny Noyce of an ear-ache almost immediately. She wrote and told me; and I have been waiting ever since for one of us to get the ear-ache so we could test it out for ourselves. But a nose! I know little of noses!" While she was talking, Charlotte managed to soothe Miss Parker sufficiently to extract the bee sting. "I hope l have relieved her a little already," she said, straightening up. "If she can now lie quietly and we dab on some of the ammonia the landlord brings, she will be quite comfortable in a few hours. lt is only a question of time and patience. There is nothing further we can do." But Miss Diana continued to do a great deal in an ineffectual way, pestering the landlord about leaves of elder, red dock leaves, mallow leaves and mutton suet, intent on discovering if any or all of these were readily available in case they should suddenly prove useful. She was so obviously incapable of finding out at the same time what the inn larder could afford in the way of cold meat, that Charlotte quietly arranged that too before allowing her own thoughts to engross her again. By this time her head had become so full of Sidney Parker (as it had been rather less consciously for the past week) she had lost the power to concentrate on anything but essentials. The incident of the bee-sting had revived her practical instincts for a brief period, but now they sank again under a weight of conflicting thoughts and emotions. And though common sense directed that she must not excite the suspicion of others by her silence and lack of spirits, her mind was so busily engaged that she was not always aware of her own behaviour. She also took little notice of her surroundings. She observed very little of Brinshore, the inn, or any of her companions; and the remainder of their stay there passed in a fever of growing impatience on her side to discover whether they would drive home in exactly the same way -- and whether she should or should not object to this? Nobody had yet noticed or commented upon the disappearance of one of their carriages; and so far as Charlotte could make out, neither Sidney, Henry Brudenall nor Clara Brereton intended to draw anybody`s attention to it. Was it for her to involve them in the embarrassment of a general discussion on the subjeco She could readily imagine Diana`s exclamations, Sir Edward`s objections and his sister`s astonishment; and she did not blame Sidney for wishing to avoid explanations about Mr. Brudenall`s personal circumstances with the entire party. There was, Charlotte told herself, no serious impropriety in the mode of travel Sidney had chosen. There would be none at all if he discussed the whole incident openly, maintained that the Parker carriage had broken down, and submitted to new seating arrangements for the journey back. But Sidney appeared determined to support Henry Brudenall`s spirits on the way home as well, Miss Brereton apparently did not object to travelling with him and while these three continued to preserve a reticent silence, Charlotte felt quite unequal to exposing them all to the curiosity of the others by raising the subject herself. But she dreaded lest some mischance should bring on discovery and had many more doubts and many misgivings as the afternoon advanced. But she need not have worried. Diana was too concerned over her sister to put up any opposition to her brother`s plans for the journey home, everyone else seemed too fatigued by their exertions in chasing walking partners for the day to pursue them further as driving companions; and nobody objected when Sidney began his usual ploy of hurrying them off to their destination before they had time to decide how they wished to travel there. "We have overspent our day in Brinshore by an hour already," he began, raising the subject and consulting his watch at the same time. "And this evening there is not even a moon to help us. l have ordered the carriages to be brotight round. It would be best -- do you not agree, Diana? -- if we travel back in the same order as we set out -- a deal of time and trouble saved in discussing any rearrangement! And I am, in any case, determined to drive last." It was done. He had despatched them all and was holding his hand down to Charlotte before she had let go her breath in suspense that he would not achieve it. "Well, Miss Heywood," he said as he guided his horses carefully out of the inn yard. "What a fine day this has been for you. All the opportunities for observing people you could possibly want." "Observing people?" Charlotte realised she had observed almost nothing throughout the entire day. She recollected now that the morning`s drive had opened with the embarrassment of Clara Brereton`s unexpected confession. Her chief wish then had been to avoid Miss Brereton for the remainder of the day -- and she had scarcely given another thought to that problem! She could also dimly recall some surprise over Henry Brudenall`s sudden change in spirits -- and then her awakening interest in Miss Lambe. But all had been sunk in her own preoccupations. "I do not really think -- " she began slowly. "Was there something of great interest that I missed?" The guarded glance of enquiry Sidney directed at her brought a quick blush to her cheeks; but she had the impression his mind must be very differently engaged. "Oh come now, Miss Heywood, you are the observer. l am so busy directing, I often miss such details as you would inevitably notice. But surely it was a day of great promise for your powers." He paused again, but Charlotte still could not trust herself to speak with sufficient composure. "Well then, let me see what I had much amusement in observing myself," went on Sidney. "Sir Edward, for instance. Did he not give you the benefit of Lord Byron`s "dark blue seas"? He did so with practically everyone else. And the Miss Beauforts so vociferous in proclaiming the latest craze, even though, in this case, it was as unprepossessing as seaweed. Susan, as usual, suffering from a ludicrous accident; Diana scolding, vapouring and organising everything into chaos. Miss Denham sulky because Henry and I kept our distance; and Arthur, like the immature youth he is, snuffing about everyone`s heels in the manner of a joyful puppy. I thought we were all behaving very much in character and offering great scope for a detached observer like yourself to laugh at us all." "No," admitted Charlotte. "The only people I observed closely were not behaving in character at all." "Indeed! And whom were you observing so closely?" Charlotte had, in fact, observed nobody but herself; but almost at random, she named Clara Brereton and Adela Lambe as the two people who had interested her most during the day. As soon as she had spoken, she regretted it, hoping Sidney would not enquire why Miss Brereton had excited her particular curiosity. But he only laughed. "Miss Brereton and Miss Lambe! What a blow that is to my vanity!" sighing in mock disappointment. "Here was l hoping that if you were overlooking everyone else today, you might at least have been concentrating in unravelling my character to your satisfaction." Charlotte could not be made comfortable by this speech. That was impossible. Nor could she think of anything to say in reply. "Ah well, I am afraid you have now missed your opportunity," Sidney said lightly. "And I must ask you to suspend any judgement on me till I return from London." "Are you going to London?" Charlotte demanded; and the sudden stab of disappointment would have told her -- if she had not admitted it to herself already -- that Sidney`s presence in Sanditon was of increasing importance to her. "When are you going?" "Early tomorrow morning. Have I not mentioned it before?" "No," said Charlotte. "I suppose there was no reason why you should." The dissatisfaction she felt at his announcement of this sudden departure for London was almost as much over his character as his coming absence. Vanity, extravagance, love of change, that restlessness she had noted in all the Parkers, the family failing -- to be always doing something, always moving about -- heedlessness of others: he became liable to all these additional charges. It did not accord with the unselfish warmth of friendship towards Henry Brudenall she believed she had discerned in him. Now that his friend had survived his cousin`s wedding day, was he intending to abandon him without further compunction? Would he abandon all his friends with the same ease and the same indifference? Charlotte was conscious that her distress at this news was far too excessive and tried to overcome it. Her spirits were certainly depressed; but she could still exert herself to appear unconcerned. And though her complexion varied, she was soon able to say in a tolerably disengaged tone, "And when will you be coming back?" "Ah, that I cannot definitely say. My business in London is rather complicated -- and has become more so from my having postponed it several days already. l dare say l might manage to come back and collect Henry within a week or ten days." He did not sound particularly concerned over what Henry would do for entertainment during his absence. And when she tried to imagine what he himself would be doing during those ten days, her mind could only conjure up a vision of some unknown and fashionable world. She had inferred -- from Sidney himself -- that London was a world of glamour, excitement, activity, amusement and all the attractions of urbane wit and casual relationships; and she knew this was very far from the world of peaceful fixity and of stable rural values to which she herself belonged. For she had also inferred that London was a world of endlessly false appearanccs, in which manners were perhaps a substitute for morals: a place easily given over to cold deception, manipulation and exploitation. Why had it never occurred to her that Sidney`s background -- his natural values -- were so totally dissimilar from her own? She was extremely angry with herself for not having thought along these lines before; for not having realised that, all day, she had been unconsciously encouraging and indulging sentiments which she should have been repressing. She did not attempt to deny that Sidney stood very high in her esteem. But she had almost succeeded in convincing herself they could hardly share one opinion of any importance in common, when he turned to her and said cheerfully, "And so, Miss Heywood, as this is to be our last meeting for some time, how shall we set about enjoying io Do you want speed or rational conversation or a combination of both?" And forgetting everything else in an instant, she determined to enjoy Sidney`s company while it remained hers to enjoy; and though perhaps their journey back to Sanditon afforded not quite the same light-hearted pleasure as the journey out, she stored and treasured those two hours the more thoroughly in the foreknowledge that they would have to last her in memories for some time to come.
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